wishing for sunrise

ONE WHOLE YEAR

2011-10-27T07:10:00.001-07:00

Photo by Monika Grzybowska

So, I guess the best way to start my first entry of 2011 (oops..) would be with a picture. The picture above says it all. It was taken during my graduation film shoot and pretty much summarize my whole of 2011.

This year has been a busy year despite the initial thought that it will be kinda a break as a student. NO, I was very wrong..being a student is not easy at all. Following schedules, attending lectures and chasing deadlines...I totally forgotten all that.

For those who hasn't been updated, I started my MA in Filmmaking beginning of this year at Goldsmiths Uni. I made the decision last year when I submit my application and then got accepted. It was one year, and I thought I should take the opportunity.

Started the course in January, shot my first 2 min project in March, followed by a non-dialogue project in May. Had some kind of a break in July/Aug, although I spent most of the time in Uni preparing for my graduation film. It was very stressful but well worth the effort and time put in.

Despite the full time study schedule, I was lucky enough to squeeze some travelling into it. I went to Copenhagen for 3 days to celebrate Steffan's birthday with him. It was really nice to see Marian and David there as well since it was almost a year ago since we last met.

In July, we went to Barcelona. I have missed out Spain totally in my two years of travelling, so I made it a point that I must visit Spain this year. Barcelona is very pretty, has that 'vintage' air to it. However, we not only experience the aesthetic values of the city, we were also unfortunate enough to experience the typical Barcelona's visit story; we got picked pocket on the first day of arrival before we even step foot into the hotel. Sighhh...Luckily though (not really), we did not let the unfortunate event spoil our entire holiday...

For my birthday, Steffan brought me to Dublin. It was a very good short break. It took me away from sitting in front of the computer whole day, replying emails and making phone calls negotiating. Dublin is alright as a city, I wish we had more time to go outside the city though. Well, this gives us a reason to go back! :)

Yeah, I nearly forgot :p, I had a birthday BBQ surprise too...Had a beautiful delicious cake and close friends over to celebrate my birthday this year! Lots of great news this year as well, many of my close friends are pregnant and one couple getting married!

After my birthday, I was just busy with my film...back to emailing, phone calling and drafting paperworks. Now that the principle shoot is over, I have only one more essay to write and THAT'S IT for this year!

Hmm, thats my year in summary..Haha..oh well, I will post some pictures to illustrate some of the events.

So, NEXT adventure!!

It's me..actually swimming....:)

2010-12-07T01:23:00.000-08:00

So, I had almost accepted the fact that I will never going to be able to swim this lifetime...based on my failure in learning before. However, it is also something I felt like it's a NEED to be able to swim...and thought, I should really just pay and give it another try, which I did. One of the things to do in Malaysia which I really wanted to do when I got back was to learn swimming...so, this video is basically a record of me swimming for the first time...I am still a bit wobbly and not very confident yet, but I will get there one day. :) I am very happy with myself...:)

It's never too late to learn...and don't give up trying!! :)

A blink of an eye, and it's end of October!!

2010-10-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

Oh man...!! Like how lil Georgie would say...It's almost November and my last entry was April..haha...So, how have I used up my last 6 months...Major change..would be me back in Malaysia!!

It was a mixed feeling to be home. Well, I was weather shocked and price shocked at first..It took me quite awhile to accept that Malaysia is HOT and EXPENSIVE! Was definitely nice to see my family and friends...and the food of cos!!

Was lucky to get a job pretty quickly, otherwise it would be tough. Worked for a month and then made a trip to Phuket to see the kids. Although it was only 4 days, it was worth it...during the trip I also experienced on of the most beautiful sunset ever...by Surin beach. Both me and See Ming were mesmerised by it!!

Followed by Steffan's visit to Malaysia!! Yeay....was so happy to see him. It was 2 months plus since I left the UK, and all this while we had kept in touch through emails and skype. Brought him around to have a local taste of Malaysia. Glad that he is adventurous enough to try all the hawkers' food and like them...all except durians. Hehe..can't blame him, there are Malaysians who can't take them either. We also managed to squeeze some time out to make a short trip to Bali, which was very nice as well.

And yes, not to forget my Birthday!! Had a few gatherings for my birthday this year....cut a few cakes..haha...

Last but definitely not least..I AM SWIMMING!! Because this is such a big deal in my life, I will write one entry just for it..:)

It's SPRING in every way...:)

2010-04-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

It's Spring....walking down the streets amongst all the blossoming flowers is just a wonderful feeling. I am smiling every waking hours..and grateful to have the joy I feel in my heart this season.

So, since my last entry, I have visited Rome and Lisbon. Rome didnot give me a good first impression on my first day of arrival but I got used to its mess after spending some time walking around the city and learnt to appreciate its amazing history. Lisbon is interesting...tried the famous Portuguese tarts in Belem. :) It was really more of a eating trip than a visiting trip...hehe

But as much as travelling is an exciting part of my current life, this chapter of my life is made extra wonderful by the fact that I met Steffan about a month and 6 days ago. :) Just before we met, I was wondering if the butterflies in the stomach feeling does really exist or is it just another mere falling in love ideals? I asked a few friends the same question I had at that time and received two kinds of responses. They were...YES, there is no such things in real life and NO, if you don't feel the butterflies, then he is not the right one. So I was left with no conclusion. Then I met Steffan. As cliche as it sounds, I had a funny feeling thinking about him after the first few dates...and it was a good funny feeling..:) We just clicked! And the fact that we could spend time just walking and talking without having a real destination and still enjoying each other's company, made me smile. I am still smiling...:)

So, YES...I think I am in love....:) It is SPRING IN EVERY WAY...LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL...:)

It's March!!

2010-03-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

OMG..it's March...how did that happen? I have to say, in the last 2 months..I did quite a bit..of travelling..n a lot has happened too...:)

I went to Iceland in January...which was great cos it was one of the more adventurous trips which I did. Went snowmobiling on one of the glaciers, also..went to walk on the ice of another glacier...and Iceland is not as cold as I was told...it was jst like London when I went (mid-january)..In fact, there was no snow in the Reykjavik but snowing in London at that time. Then, went away in February for two weeks..to Venice, Florence and Switzerland...saw the Carnivale and Il David in Florence..which was the highlight of Florence for me! hehe....then, had a taste of skiing in Lenzerheide..n a truly relaxing holiday of 8 days..:)

So, Chinese New Year came n gone. I didnt have much of CNY this year unfortunately, just managed to go to Chinatown to see some lion dance and had dim sum with my friends..thats about it..oh, and thanks to my friends mum, I got some kuih kapit..hehe...

I have been wanting to put up my resolutions since beginning of this year..but just couldn't find the time! So, I told myself today that I MUST put it up..if not, there's not much point anymore..haha...

These would be my resolutions for 2010:

1. MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYDAY.
2. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
3. LOVE GENEROUSLY.
4. TRAVEL AT LEAST 8 COUNTRIES.
5. READ AT LEAST 10 BOOKS.
6. FINISH 3 PAINTINGS.
7. ONE SHORT FILM.
8. EAT HEALTHIER.

I have also been thinking about my future...it's at the junction again..where I have to decide..n make choices..which I am really bad at..So, made some applications for a masters course..please help pray that I get an offer..

On another more personal note, I have also learnt something, when there's no sparks..u can't create it..!

so..what's next? :)

NEW YEAR, new journey...

2010-01-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Today is officially the first day of 2010...I thought I would be able to make at least one entry in December 2009 but I didn't have the time. So, I have to write on the first day of the new year...:)

For the eve of 2009.., the 31st Dec 2008, I was in company with some new friends at Blackfriars Bridge for the New Year's countdown...and at the stroke of midnight, all we could see was just some coloured sky behind a building...yeah, we were waiting at the wrong bridge.!! lol...so, yesterday, I thought I have to at least see it from the right bridge this year..to make it up for the previous one, but in the end me and my friends decided to actually see on the tv screen. Funny thing was we were there, in front of the London Eye where the main fireworks are supposed to be at about 10pm. I guess it was partly of the cold weather, the crowd and the view from where we were wasn't all that great. After about 15 minutes walking amidst the unbelievable huge amount of people..we all agreed to make our way back to watch it on the TV screen. So, we started walking from the Embankment station and slowly looking for the next closest working tube station to catch the tube back to South Kensington. (most of the tube and buses are stopped for a few hours before and after midnight). We walked and walked and walked and finally.....the closest was actually Green Park. For those of you who knows London well, that's quite a long walk...lol..Anyway, all we were hoping for was to actually get back in time to see the fireworks on screen...and phewww...luckily, we did!! Just 10 minutes before midnight, we managed to gather in front of Aurelie's tv! :) Although we weren't there at the actual place, I think the decision to leave was a good one in the end..so, after that, we just had drinks and chit chat..and learning how to swear in different languages..lol..since we were all from different nationalities..we had Korean, Japanese, French, Pakistani and Malaysian of cos..lol..and I actually can't think of a phrase in Malay to teach them...can anyone help? :p

I had some good fun for beginning of 2010, although I was quite disappointed with someone..:( I thought it wouldn't bother me much, but unfortunately it did, and that I actually teared on the bus on the way home at abt 4.30am. So who is he? erm..Sometime mid of December, I kinda met someone whom I share quite a lot in common with. I don't know what's in store for us, but I will see it in a very optimistic view and hope for the best because I believe in fate and that we met for a reason...

2009 had been a great year for me...so I will need a lot of effort and luck to make 2010 a better year! and I know it will be!! Looking forward to it...:) BRING IT ON 2010!! It will be amazing!!!

some pics to share!

guess which one is my salope? ...lol

Truly Happy at Heart...

2009-11-12T02:10:00.000-08:00

I thought I should record this date down..not today as I am typing now, but yesterday, the 11th November. I woke up in the morning like usual, and hopped on a bus to work..everything was ordinary..weather wasn't great either. However, I was feeling truly happy..the sort of happiness you feel when you are in love and that you don't really understand why you are smiling. I was sitting in the bus, looking out from the windows and listening to some music...smiling silly. I paused once in awhile in between those feelings just to question myself why am I feeling sooo...'contented'?

After awhile, I thought to myself...stop analysing..just BE....and I did. I shared what I felt yesterday with a few friends, and I concluded that, maybe it's just the current situation where I am now, I am happy with my job, happy with the time I have for myself, happy with the friends I made, not earning alot but enough to enjoy simple nice things in life..am not chasing anything...

Moments like this don't come everyday..I hope everyone would be able to experience this feeling at least once in their life...oh well..next, I wanna be in love...:p

Innocence of a Child

2009-11-09T14:48:00.000-08:00

It's autumn..everywhere is yellow, orange and red...very dreamlike...I love autumn. If only autumn days are as long as those in summer...it would be perfect!

So..I have been around little children for the last two months..from 14 months old to 7 years old...what I have learnt and truly enjoyed from them is their innocence..To see the face of a 3 year old lighted up, and then run to you and hug you close..is the most loving moment you can feel. At least it is for me...The happiness was so pure..

Exchanging conversations with them is very self reflective sometimes...the "why is this..why is that" period of a child is really interesting. At some point, I don't know how to answer them, just have to tell them, the truth that I don't know..

So, what have I been doing the last 2 mths...I have started my French course..it's boring..but I just have to endure n try to learn as much..I have also visited Oxford, Bournemouth and Leamington Spa. Oxford is interesting, Bournemouth is boring and disappointing whilst Leamington seems quiet and nice.

Hope to go somewhere end of year..can't believe I have less than 7 mths in London..got to make the best out of every minute!!!!!!!!

A Great Month of August!

2009-09-26T03:29:00.001-07:00

My official last day in Starbucks was in July. So, I took the month of August to travel...it was quite a journey...even though I did it in 4 blocks. It wasn't the type of trip where I do as many in as short a period of time possible. In fact, I would say it's quite luxurious..haha..other than the fact, we walked alot, stayed in hostels and have bread/salami for almost every meal....for
one month!!!! YEAH...I think I have had enough bread, salami and cheese breakfast which would last me for a year!

So, where did I go..chronologically..Budapest, Vienna, Czech Republic, Hamburg, Berlin, Munich/Blackforest and last stop Turkey. Kinda like 3 days in each city. For some, 3 days were a little too long...we sort of finished most of the cities in one n a half day. Of all the cities, I didn't enjoy Budapest and Vienna. Cappadocia in Turkey was really interesting! Istanbul would be memorable as I celebrated my birthday there with 5 other friends..I mean..how often can that happen? It was a good one!! :) That aside, Istanbul felt like home..the weather and people...

I came back to London on the 1st of September...had a holiday withdrawal. sigh...well, it was just money going out.. tho...

My other aspects of life..been thinking alot lately, trying to make the best of my time here. I have just signed up for a french course..Hopefully it will turn out to be a good decision...as it costs me some money..

I have also recently taking chances...one example would be I actually replied to an ad on a website..under the heading looking for friends..LOL...to be honest, I didn't intend to find a friend through a website, I mean there are a lot of weird people out there. I replied to one because of the heading..it was out of pure curiosity and feeling cheeky ..but the reply from the person sounded sane..so I decided to keep in touch...who knows..there are still goodness n nice people out there..will see how this goes..

I am also currently thinking of getting my masters..just for paper qualification sake..but have to do more research in terms of funding...

Autumn is beautiful now in London..temperature is good..enjoy the sun while I can..hehe

The clock is ticking..time if flying ...do my best n hope for the best!

UNTITLED

2009-08-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

Across the dark blue sky,
A flash of light so bright,
Like a fallen star,
You came into my life.

From the bottom of my heart...I smile,
Thinking of you I so adore,
Wishing that we'd met earlier,
When there's a chance of something more.

Hiding under a cupid's spell,
I can't help but to wonder,
Because we get along so well,
Could there be a chance of us together?

For you whom I can only dream,
Because of you I am inspired...
At heart I wish you knew.

1 year, 1 month and 3 days....

2009-07-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yup...It has been that long...since I reached London Heathrow last year with just two luggages...I must admit that this venture must be one of the bravest decisions which I have made in my life for myself...and now I can say, I don't regret it...

I am currently in between jobs, in a less refined phrase..well, m jobless....:( Yups..no income, just outcome...It is a good break from all the different kind of jobs I have been taking on...and FINALLY I am about the enjoy the fruits....:) As much as I am looking forward to it, I am also quite scared of it..looking at my schedules..haha...but it's all good. I haven't really have a day of nothing-to-do day ever since I stopped work, which in a way it's a good thing..I truly enjoy keeping myself occupied and feeling "important"...

So, I am going to travel quite a bit in August which is one of the main reasons I came over to England. After August, one of my resolutions for this year will be accomplished!! woo hoooo....at least 6 countries..:p I am going to be broke too,..this must be the most expensive birthday gift to myself so far in my life!

Nothing really much have happened since my last update..really. I cut my hair just 3 days ago...A haircut in London generally costs about GBP30 to GBP50. I certainly can't afford it...so I went for the GBP5 student cut by the Vidal Sassoon Academy..it has been recommended by quite a few ppl..so I decided to go for it. It is truly just GBP5, but I spent about 3 hours plus sitting on the chair, just for a simple trim n reshape..sigh...well, I guess when you don't pay the price, you pay with your patience. It was good though, I am happy with it.

On other aspects of my life, hmm...well, I went for lunch with a new friend...it's worth mentioning because I had a great lunch company. :) oh well...yeah..I am smitten..I must admit..but I hope it passes....sighhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Recently too, I got a text from a friend saying that a very adored director, Yasmin Ahmad has left us..I was truly shocked by the news..and still is. It is a BIG loss to the film industry in Malaysia and to us who has known her as a friend, we will certainly miss her. Life is way too unexpected...You will never know what comes next...so, cherish today and live your best!! For those whom I have met along the way so far, we met for a reason...you have made a mark in my life..thank you! :)

This pic is taken after two days...the haircut looks much better when I walked out of the place..hehe

Almost A Year...:)

2009-06-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

It's HOT!! Yes, I can't believe it myself..saying that in London...although if I say that outloud in a park I would probably screamed at...:p

The days are getting longer..weather getting hotter...it's SUMMER! that also marks my one year in London...it truly flew by, but if I were to sit down and write all the things I did in the last one year, it would make me smile..I had travelled quite a bit and met a lot of nice people..some I believe would be a friend for a long time...

The recent loss of my aunt made me realise that we will leave this world one day! So, while we are still here, make the best out of everyday. I have been working really hard, juggling a few jobs..trying to make as much as I can so that I can see and do more before leaving this country. Some of the things I did in the last two weeks or so include going for "Wicked" the musical which I truly enjoyed, made a road trip to Lake District and a one day trip to Bath, Salisbury and Stonehenge. I have also actively met up with group of strangers and trying to make new friends...

So, what else is keeping me alive or should I say...smiling...:p I wish I can say I met someone special...but unfortunately NO!! But I do meet an almost perfect man...which make me believe that there are still hope out there..!! Lets see...he is hardworking, quite good looking, non-smoker/clubber, wanna build a family, friendly, good dressing sense, loving father...sighhh....

And she has left...for good...

2009-05-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

It has been weird the last few days...I tried preparing myself mentally, and yet I couldn't...Everytime my phone receives an sms, I was worried that it's a msg from my mum telling me the bad news..but up to this morning, I never receive any msg from my mum.

I knew they are bringing her home today, Thursday morning in Penang. When I went to bed last night, I was mentally prepared to receive a sms when I wake up this morning. But I did not. So, on the bus to work, I called home to ask. I heard my mum's voice on the other side, "Lu ei 3-ee bo liou"....I didn't know what to say..but just asked if she made it home before leaving us..and mum said, "Yes, she did".."She passed away after about 10 minutes.."

I wrote a poem for her..as I really can't think of anything else which I could do. This poem would be "given" to her by my cousin on my behalf.

My dearest 3-ee,
Am really sad that you've left us,
That I couldn't bid farewell,
That I couldn't remember the last we spoke,
Or the last time I held you close.

I would truly like you to know,
That you will always be remembered,
As the aunt who brought me up,
Whom I shared my secrets with,
Whom I laughed and cried with,
Whom I've loved and will always do.

You will be missed dearly,
Today and every day to come,
In my heart, I will always love you,
For you are my one and only 3-ee.

Rest in peace.

With love, Ah Na.

I can't exactly describe the feeling I am feeling right now..it's a mixture of everything..:( I hope she is in a better place..a place where she is not hurting or in pain anymore...

The sunshine..the blooming flowers..O so pretty..

2009-04-18T03:46:00.000-07:00

A month has passed by once again...One month and lots had happened, so I can't really complain...

I attended a very good friend's wedding in a land they call Down Under..:p It's a trip planned since many months ago...and is finally over. I spent 2 weeks with my very good friends in Brisbane, Melbourne and Perth...just being us..driving around..and catching up...It's not an easy trip, very exhausting..but fulfilling...

So, about the wedding...Yeah, primarily the trip is for Deanna, the bride. She asked me to be her bridesmaid even before I have the idea of coming to London and I kept my promise. It was quite an adventure for all of us to plan the bridesmaids' gowns and etc because the 3 of us are at 3 different continent! The bride, myself and the other bridesmaid..but we made it!! The wedding would be the first wedding of a very close friend which I have attended so far. It's was very touching..she had hers very personal, only with those who truly care...from the ceremony to the reception, everything was well planned and pretty. ooo...I have to share these 2 quotes which I learnt from my trip.

1. "LOVE IS A DECISION."

2. From the groom's dad to the groom. "When you are wrong, just admit it. When you are right,
just shut up."

After the Australia trip, I came back to London. WOW...What a change in 2 weeks..the day is so much longer now.., weather is good despite the rain and the blooming flowers! It's good to be home. :) After about 9 days, I left again to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is very eye-opening. I managed to visit the House of Anne Frank, Keukenhof garden and well the famous red light district. The coffee shops and the sex toys are ..just totally in a category on its own. And yeah..I had a "vanilla muffin" which didn't quite give me anything else other than blood shot eyes. Out of my 3 days trip, I managed to go to Leiden and also Rotterdam for a day. Leiden is boring while Rotterdam is just another city with skyscrapers.

Oh well, back to work. Times are really bad here..every sector are affected by the credit crunch. I also kinda lost my chinese takeaway job cos they are having very quiet times and don't really need an extra hand. sighhhh...

Anyway, here are some pics..I have uploaded more in my facebook.

At Keukenhof...

The red light district..

With the bride and groom...

At Cottlestoe sunset..supposed to be one of the best in the world..

At the 12 Apostles...

Since last update...

2009-03-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

It's been tougher and tougher for me to find the time to write, to rest or just being...I guess that's cos I have to juggle 3 to 4 jobs in a week...which could sometimes means waking up at 4.40am and work till 10.30pm. Yeah..I work hard...but I also intend to play hard..I deserve every single penny that I earn...Every week must do "something"..anything really..whether it's a theatre, a movie or a trip or even clubbing...

Since my last update, lots have happened. I went to Eastbourne for a day trip with 4 other friends. It was my first road trip and my first visit to the English Channel. Eastbourne is like one of my friends said, "It's like a town stucked in time!" She is right...everything seems extra slow there..people walk at a slower pace..nothing seems to be in rush..which is really good for me. It really reminded me of the joy of simple living...almost 360 degree as compared to life in London. There is nothing much in Eastbourne, but the visit to Beachy Head for the Seven Sisters is well worth the journey! I was truly amazed by the wonders of nature when I was standing there, feeling the chilly breeze brushing my cheeks with the towering white cliffs and sound of the wave hitting the endless stoney beach...I felt so small as a human and humbled by the grandeur of the natural world. Neither the highest building nor the biggest man-made pool can ever give u the same feeling...

So, I also finally made a trip to Richmond..It's just about 30 minutes from London zone 1 but it's soooo different..in a good way. I wished it didn't rain that day though, which has certainly made my trip much shorter than intended. Liked what I saw for the brief few hours I was there, just walking with Chew Ping and Eow..so, will definitely make another trip there ..hopefully better luck in weather next time.

I also had my first big screen cinematic experience for the 1st time in London in the last 8 months. There was a double bill promotion in Riverside Studios for "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Kite Runner" for gbp7.50. I decided to go for it because I truly wanted to watch Slumdog Millionaire. It was a nice small independent theatre and I am glad I treated myself for the movie night. Although I have seen "Kite Runner", I still teared...almost from beginning to end...lol....as for "Slumdog Millionaire", I really enjoyed it...

Life's short...work hard, play hard..:)

Paris...the city of love

2009-02-23T15:36:00.000-08:00

I have just read a friend's article about everlasting love. It touches me dearly...as it reflects alot on my life. Love has always been a very simple yet a complicated aspect of life, which in many ways makes it wonderful.

Since we are on the topic of love, I would like to write about the city of love which I have just recently visited...PARIS. I managed to go for a 4 days budget trip to Paris recently. It was a full 4 days of walking..tiring but great! I visited most of the tourist attractions; Le Louvre, Musee D'Orsay, Arc de Triomphe, Versailles, Pompidou and a few more...but the one which I truly enjoyed was the visit to Sacre Couer, Montmartre. In my opinion, it is nicer than Notre Dame. I wouldn't be able to describe in words the feeling I felt when I was there, so I decided to immortalize the moment in a video form. Below is a short clip of the place, the crowd and the atmosphere while I was standing in front of Sacre Couer.

So, of course I went to the famous Eiffel Tower. Only went to the 2nd level as me and my friends thought we could climb up to the 3rd, but unfortunately, it was closed at the time we were there. The view from the top is amazing....I mean, I wish I was there with someone special. Cliche as it may sound but it does somehow gives you the feeling of being loved...Oh well...sighh

Anyway, February is scarily coming to an end. I don't know how it passes by..seriously. My everyday motto now is "Must do something every week..Anything...".This week, I went for a play at The New Players Theatre called "The Vagina Monologue". I went partly because a friend's friend were in it and I would like to meet her. Yeah, Vagina Monologue is all about vaginas...:p No hidden meanings whatsoever...It has got the word in almost every sentence. It talks about vaginas through the eyes of an old lady, a lesbian, a to-be mum, a normal female, a victim of rape and etc.

I am at a place where I need to make decisions and I really hate it. I hate making decisions...but I guess that's what living is all about.

On another note, my sis just told me this morning that one of my mum's friend's daughter passed away in a tragic accident. She's just 19 years old..It further reminds me of how short our life is and that it can be taken away from us anytime...

This blog entry is really fragmented. I write as how my brain works. I am that random...lol..

White Chinese New Year!!!

2009-02-01T14:39:00.000-08:00

I was complaining about the weather the entire day since the time I stepped out from my house to work this morning..but at about 8pm, I stopped! It started snowing heavily when me and my friends were walking home...It was soooo beautiful...and all of a sudden, the freezing day out was all worth it!!

It's already the 7th day of CNY today but there's a huge celebration in Chinatown. My friends and I decided to join the fun..although we were warned that it's going to be crowded..Anyway, after work, I went at abt 2pm. Nothing much, some lion dance and according to Chew Ping, it's a baby compared to what we have in Malaysia. So, we went to Trafalgar Square to see some performances, as Kai Ling puts it, she heard some cheesy sounding Chinese songs while walking past earlier. It was well, nothing great...and due to the freezing weather, we (myself, Chew Ping, Kai Ling and Yean) decided to go for coffee..an excuse to be indoor really...ended up at Portrait Gallery's cafe. From the cafe, we get a very pretty view of London city. Spent some time there just chit chatting and getting defrosted...

So, Cheyenne called and told us that there will be some fireworks at abt 6pm at Leicester Square. We left the cafe when they were closing and made our way to the square. The fireworks were what I would call "fireworks war"..it just went on and on and on without much design whatsoever..but I really like how "chaotic" it is...hehe..at last, I saw some fireworks for the new year!!! since I missed the last new year countdown by being at the wrong bridge...

After the fireworks, we went to a small pub near Seven Dials for a drink and to warm up..It's a very nice place..Decided to leave at abt 8pm..and as we stepped out of the pub, we stood there and just admire the falling snow...today, 1st of February 2009 is officially my first day experiencing the continuous falling snow...It's so so wonderful..It's so romantic..I could fall in love with anyone at that moment..(yeah, I am pretty idealistic)..and for that reason, the journey home was simply breathtaking...

I cannot quite explain the feeling I feel by just watching the snow falling, so I decided to record it and share it with you guys and hopefully, you could feel what I am feeling right now as I am typing. It is so calming, beautiful and made you feel loved at the same time reflective..so serene and peaceful...

This is the view from my room window..I just sat there quietly..and enjoyed the feeling...

Okie, below is the video I took when I was typing this blog half way, and Chew Ping (my housemate) came down and said...wanna go out? We wanted to do this earlier but the snow kinda stopped..so, we thought, "Let's just go to sleep" but since she couldn't sleep, so yeah..why not? Let's do it!!!!! lol...

I wanted to post some pics of the CNY celebration but it's not that interesting anyway..maybe next entry...:)

New friends, new family...

2009-01-22T15:52:00.000-08:00

I just came back from meeting two new friends (Mikey and Pandora)...one of them I have met twice, while the other one it was our first meeting. I am soooo happy that the dinner happened..though I didn't eat anything.

How do u know if you are going to get along with these new friends or not..you will know when it's your first meeting and all you did was lots of laughters! We said hie, and then started talking and talking and talking..it almost as if we have been friends for a long time. I didn't had to think of what I was going to say next cos I felt so comfortable to be myself..

To be alone in another country, one needs to build a new family. This family is made out of the new friendship you make with people you meet. I have been sooo blessed to have met so many people I can call family.

On another note, I worked on a surprise 60th birthday party event recently. The event was attended by 80 people, all gathered in a hall and when the birthday lady walked in with her husband, everyone sang the birthday song...It was wonderful...the feeling of friendship and love..The husband gave a speech about how they met and how amazing the wife is as a wife, mother and grandmother. I was so touched and nearly teared. I really hope one day, when I m old, I will still be surrounded by all my friends whom I love and who love me.

2009 so far...

2009-01-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

I must say, I am quite proud of myself...lol..cos I have actually been upkeeping my resolutions in the past 2 weeks of 2009!

I went to Belgium on the 2nd of Jan..It was a truly spontaneous trip!! The idea was suggested by my friend Chew Ping on the 30th Dec..and we just went ahead and book it the next day! 3 cities in 3 days...walking around with maps in cities where we can't even pronounce the street names..just know there's lots of laans..and straat...:p

A quick run down of my trip..

Brussels

- Went to check out all the famous chocolatiers..yeah, I have educated myself in that way, the three top chocolate

brands are supposed to be Pierre Marcolini, Neuhaus and Wittamer.

- I have also eaten lots of Belgian waffles..Luikse waffle is nice..the one with sugar coating.

- Had french fries with sweet mayonaise and "andalouse"sauce

- Visited the Galleries Saint Hubert - world's first shopping mall.

- Walked the flea market at Place du jeu de Balle.

Antwerp

- lots of diamond shops..yeah, Antwerp is supposed to be one of the cities with most diamonds traded yearly..

However, the city really don't look rich at all.

- it's nothing much, a big shopping street.

Brugge

- A city full with tourists. I can't imagine myself being a local there, cos wherever u look, there are tourists...It's like a

Disneyland.

- Went to a church where there's a case containing a few drops of Jesus Christ's blood.

Here are some pics..

At the Grand Place/Grote Markt) at Brussels..

It's nicer at night...

Me at the Manneken Pis...Believe me, this is not just another peeing boy sculpture...lol...it was crowded by lots of tourists..I am not sure why it is so famous, but I think it's probably the first of all the peeing statues we all see today! It's really small too...

One of the cathedrals in Antwerp...Beautiful isn't it?

Me at the picturesque city of Brugge

Alright..5 more countries to go...:p

Year 2009!

2009-01-15T15:12:00.000-08:00

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!! It's NEWWWW YEARRRRR!!! what happened to 2008?

I was complaining to a friend that I didn't do much in 2008...but she told me, " You did. You came to London!" Haha...yeah..She is right! I guess 2008 has been a significant year in that sense... A HUGE one!

Anyway, like always, year after year, whenever it's new year's season...I always want to write a list of new year's resolutions..and it's always postponed to a few weeks into the new year...I told myself tonight that I have to sit myself down and write the list no matter what...

So, this year, I would like to keep my list practical and achievable..hehe..(learning from past years)..here it is, with hope that I will be able to achieve all of it..or at least 75% of it..:p

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2009.

1. Work hard. Live Life.
2. Eat healthier.
3. Spend more time with my family friends.
4. Travel at least 6 countries.
5. Read minimum of 3 books.
6. Make at least 1 short film.
7. Write at least 1 feature script.
8. Paint 5 paintings.

Now that is out of the way...pheewwwww....Just have to keep the list in mind and work on it.

Fallen

2008-11-07T14:48:00.000-08:00

The wind blows, I shiver,
Hold strong, my dear,
The whispers I hear,
It's too strong I told them,
I'm next, I fear.
.
Suddenly it shakes, I let go and fell,
In red, in tears,
Looking up at my peers,
I knew it's true,
Winter is already here.

Autumn

2008-11-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

Green to red, I see everyday,
To and fro, on my way,
The journey I am on today.

A reflection of my thought,
A feeling, a fear I fought,
A question I've got,
Each and everyday I ask,
So quietly at the corner of my heart.

For now I can only pray,
With hope for a better day,
Every morning when I see the rays.

Finally...a place called home...

2008-09-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

It's mid September already...within the last three months, I moved country, then stayed in 2 different houses and at last, I found a place where I can finally call "home". I just realised I have been so busy that it has been almost a month since my last entry. Well, I hope to be able to capture the events of one month as short as possible...:)

So, I celebrated my 1st birthday in London..not so much of a celebration actually, went for a simple dinner with Indri, Craig and Chew Ping the night before my birthday at an Indian restaurant. The next day I just slept in and went to Singapore Chilli Crab festival with Chew Ping and friends. Had a very expensive nyonya laksa and a really sweet cup of chendol!! The festival is not that great actually...but anyway, after that we went to have a walk at the markets nearby. One of them is the famous Spitafields market...It's quite interesting..although it's called a market, the prices are not market prices..sigh...but I found a very nice bag there which I bought for GBP17. :) A birthday gift to myself I guess...went to Carnaby St with Chew Ping, wanted to go for dinner at Cha Cha Moon but unfortunately, it wasn't opened. So, I decided to go home and rest. Yups...thats about all that I did for my birthday...

Well...I can't quite recall all the events chronologically...cos am really tired today...like any other day, to be honest. Maybe I shall put them in points form...

I went to the Notting Hill Fest as recommended by Pris even before I came to London. I went on Sunday, the 24th August if I remember correctly. It was quite disappointing as I expected alot more. There were food, loud music, lots of people dancing and some parades. I was so tempted to get the grilled corn but just couldn't bring myself to pay GBP1 for one cob. Imagine RM6.50 for ONE!!!

At work, I get to know more about the other partners at the store. I am happy that all the people I work with gets along well and they are all really friendly. It's a pretty robotic job otherwise...

I guess the highlight of the last 4 weeks is actually finding a house and getting the paperworks done within less than 2 weeks. It was really crazy...to finalise all the deposit and making sure we get to move in by the 8th of Sept, which we did. Never have I thought renting a house can be so difficult. The reference checks that have to be done...an agency has been hired to check all of the tenants background. They actually called my previous landlord in Malaysia to confirm my background!!! Well..all said and done, I have a HOME. :) I am really grateful to have found this place as it is strategically located, near the bus stop and tube with lots of shops nearby.

Anyway, pictures speak louder than words..so here are some pictures..

The markets...

At the Singapore Chilli Crab festival..

New friends...

Baking!

2008-08-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

I only bake whenever I am inspired or feeling happy...I don't know why. So, recently, I felt like baking a chocolate cake (that's kinda like the only cake I never fail..hahah)...but I don't have the mixer or anything that is baking related per se. Decided to buy the materials, a whisk and the baking pans. One problem..I have never mix the batter manually before..but there's always the first time and I am going to give it a go!

I enjoyed baking...putting everything together and see the result at the end. Of course, when the result is good, there's a real satisfaction. I don't like cakes, so my ex-housemates were really lucky whenever I bake...:p Anyway, below are the pics of my most recent chocolate cake! I haven't bake for a LONNNGGGG time...more than 2 years or maybe 3...so long ago, I couldn't remember..that says something isn't it..:(

Little details..of everything...

2008-08-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

I kinda stop counting..the number of weeks I have been in London. Time flies really fast here! Maybe 200% faster than in Malaysia...SERIOUSLY!

Anyway, I have noticed quite a number of things..little details of London..which I think it's pretty interesting..

1. Most girls wear flats here...probably cos everyone walks..and heels would have killed many!
2. Almost everyone has an earphone to an ipod or equivalent...walking or in the tube. Anywhere!
3. Umbrella is a NECESSITY!
4. Sun is moody...feels like 4 seasons in a day. Supposed to be summer, mind you!
5. London is full of people from everywhere else in the world but London...:p
6. One can go out without a single penny in the pocket but his Oyster card, and still enjoy the day!
7. Many many big and expensive cars..cars I used to only heard/never even heard of!
8. Alchoholic drinks are for ANYTIME of the day!
9. Public transport is PUNCTUAL!
10. There is never enough TIME! (a lot of it lost in transition)

I remember having a longer list whilst I was on the bus home...but just cannot remember now...:( am pretty tired to be honest. I have never felt so tired before, even when I am on a production. And this is just smile and take orders and make coffee....it's a very robotic job..sigh...I guess passion plays a big role!

For the 1st time..

2008-08-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

Today, I went to Potters Field park for the last day of Malaysian Week in London. It started on the 30th July.

Anyway, I didn't really expect alot. I went with the hope of getting some malaysian food. There was a stage, with some dance performance and a 'fake' malay wedding. It was drizzling and I must say, I was quite impressed with the crowd that turned up for the event. And for the 1st time, I actually sat down with an umbrella beside a friend to see the performances. I mean, honestly, I have NEVER stopped by to see any of these stage performances in KL, but today, I actually did. I guess it takes you to be out of the country to see what you tend to overlook when you are at home.

After about 15 minutes, we went for the food. I paid 4.50 pound for a plate of chicken rendang and nasi briayani. It was decent, quite nice...in fact. There weren't enough chairs and tables, so we ended sitting on the grass with the bench as our table, holding an umbrella and enjoying our meals. It's the malaysian way....:p

Here are some pics I took. :)

CRUSH

2008-07-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

He moves in nearer,
and closer,
his breath brushes through the air,
touches my neck like a feather,
sending my heart a pound and a gush,
standing still I was,
grasping hard for a breath of air.

I felt a rush,
heating up really fast,
from body to my cheek,
stopping it I tried,
like always I failed,
and there I was,
all red and blushed.

:p I don't know what's the sudden inspiration, guess maybe cos I am happy.

A month later...

2008-07-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today marks exactly one month since I arrived in Heathrow...29th June didn't seem too long ago..as it is often said..time flies...

I felt a bit emotional thinking about it...in a good way...I miss my friends alot..friends whom I know I can always count upon..I am always grateful for having so many of them in my life....I read somewhere once, true friends are hard to come by, and if you could count the numbers with one hand, you are one of the luckiest people in the world...I can honestly say I have more than 5!...:)

So, one month..how did it pass by?...I am really thankful to have met Ed and Rich, I owe it to them for making my 'settling in' so smoothly...I am touched and feel really blessed that I met so many nice people in a city I thought I had no one...I am still job hunting, which is really stressful....but am not ready to give up trying..I told Ed yesterday about the stress, and he told me what a friend of his told him, "Job hunting is a full time job!" so, just stick with it....:)

I am making new friends at work..it's a good start...they are very nice people..friendly n helpful..:) n international too...:) So, yeah..I am HAPPY...today especially..:p

I didn't have time earlier to post some of the pics from a lil farewell party in conjunction with Jon's bday which I had before I left for the UK..and also the pics I took at the airport after one whole night of packing...Jon, Jen, Aaron and Jasmine sent me to the airport. I am really touched cos 3 of them kinda stayed up with me while I did my packing and Jasmine woke up early to join us to the airport..I had to leave for the airport at abt 6am.

2 more days and it's August! New month...looking forward to it...:)

BLUSHED!

2008-07-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

So, for those of you who have known me long enough would know what the title means...sighhhhhh....

Well, I haven't blushed for quite some time now, and this is like a nightmare revisited...

On my first day of working with the established "green logo" coffee company, I experienced a very embarassing moment. Basically, it was my first day and I am learning from scratch how to make the different types of coffee. Then, towards the end of the day, the shift supervisor kinda tested me and said, "Please make me a half shot tall latte". Oh...and I was panicked and keep thinking, have I been thought or is my memory that bad? Then, he came closer to me and said, "Don't panic...and don't worry about making mistake..." I told him, "No, I am not..." (at this point, I can feel the 'heat' taking over my face) He said, "Yes, you are...You are RED!" The last line REALLY DOESN'T help at all.....Arghhhhhh!!

After that, for the rest of the shift, I kinda kept avoiding him..When he talked to me, I kept looking down, and as quickly as I can, I said OK ..and walked away....I hope he doesn't think I am rude though...

I WISH THERE'S A PILL OR SOMETHING WHICH CAN STOP BLUSHING!!!!!! oh..and I do think my store manager is cute...but u know, this 5 letter word is soooo going to "kill" me...

First 2 weeks and 2 days in London

2008-07-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

Time flies...it has been 2 weeks and 2 days since the day I arrived in Heathrow..Let me try to recollect what I have seen and done in the previous weeks..

Heathrow was not as glamorous as I thought it would be..but BUSY ..YES! I was overwhelmed to a certain extend when I was approaching the immigration queue..wow...what a queue...and it was full of different kind of nationalities....I joined the "vibrant" crowd..hehe...I was greeted warmly by Edmond and Richard at the arrival gate..then Richard drove my luggage home while Edmond took the tube with me..cos it's a 2 seater car...

It was abt 6 pm when we got home. Richard went on preparing a nice dinner for all of us..It was a truly yummy dinner, had a roast chicken, some bacon wrapped asparagus baked in cheese and another bowl of vege. I had a wonderful time catching up with Edmond and getting to know Richard. :) Told Richard that he has to teach me how to cook the asparagus...:p

The next day, I took the tube to Leicester Sq to HSBC in Chinatown, to set up my bank account. After that, I felt a bit tired, so instead of going around, I headed home and took a nap. I guess the jet lag was kicking in. At least, I had one important task accomplished!

The rest of the 2 weeks I spent the time getting in touch with all the friends I know who are in London and made appointments to meet up with them one-by-one. So, met up with Patrick, Indri, Fiona, Seok Kien, Amy and Chew Ping. It was a joy to see familiar faces..:) The second week was mostly spent on house hunting, making appointments and then look for the location to view the house. So, travelled a lil to different parts of London. I also experienced the "english" rainy n wet summer..the rain here is not like in Malaysia where it pours then it stops..it just drizzles the entire day..I was walking under the rain for like 4 to 5 hours with an umbrella on one of the days...I was wet from head to toe..:(

So, I haven't really done much touristy stuffs, maybe cos I have seen quite a bit during my previous trip to London. To sum it all, I just visited Regent & Oxford St., Hyde Park, V&A Museum, the British Museum, Portobello market, Covent Garden and SOHO. Here and there, not much cos of budget constraint as well.

Here are some photos which I took when I remember taking out my camera..:p

Fulham Palace Road..the first scenery I saw when I was walking to the tube station on my way to Leicester SQ. It will be a daily scenery for me as I will be staying at Hammersmith.

Meeting up with Patrick at Leicester Sq.

Look it's Malaysia!!! :)

Patrick treated me some ice-cream..yummm..:)

At Covent Garden...

My first time at Hyde Park..would you believe this is in the centre of the big city??

Me and Fiona at Hyde Park

Ohhh....thats the size of the burger I had at Gourmet Burger Kitchen..I just couldn't finished it..had it at the branch in SOHO with Ed and Rich..

With Amy..Behind me is the Regent St or Oxford St...am not sure, both of them look alike to me...haha

That's all for now....will keep posting when I have extra time..dunno why time seems to fly real fast here...:(

A new journey ahead...

2008-06-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

So, I have been extremely busy for the last two months...my month of April was basically spent on an editing job..a very stressful one...and right after that job, I spent my entire May trying to pack up my life into boxes...Yups..it's a HUGE task!! It's really tough when you are someone who buys alot for the future..:p sigh..I had so much trouble figuring out which are those that I need and which that I could live without...:( In a good way, this is a really good opportunity for me to clear up the mess in my life..unsorted photos and hdd..There was only one common comment amongst those who came to my house the last few weeks..."You have a lot of things!!" Yeah...I know...and I call them my important junks..:) hahaha

I will be in the UK end of this month...to start on a new chapter of my life...:) It will be a scary and yet an exciting journey...definitely...well, lets see what LIFE has in store for me!!

What If You Realise You Have A Crush on Someone?

2008-03-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

That's a question that has been bothering me...so, really, what do u do when you realise you have a crush on a friend?

I have actually asked a few guy friends their opinion on it...and most of them told me that it's cool to let him know. It depends alot on how you tell him. Hmmm....to start with, I am very worried about losing the friendship. I have this feeling that one would distant himself if he doesn't feel the same way, and that would be really bad....sigh...

Anyway, I have another question which I often wonder...it's often you have silly crushes n then, nothing happens n life goes on...n you guys are still friends...would it be a good idea to let your friend knows that you used to have a crush on him? just wondering...hahah...

Being In Front of Camera..:p

2008-03-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

So, I just had my first makeover! hehe..I bought the package cos I thought it was a pretty good deal, only RM150 with RM130 products redeemable...and I think the catch for me was cos it's by a Japanese makeup artist...:)

Anyway, after the makeup n hairdo, I had a photoshoot! THAT for me is the hardest part since I am so used to standing behind the camera...Well, I have worked with models where they just have to pose, tilt their heads n smile....while the camera clicks away...I always thought, "how hard can that be?"..It IS hard..at least for me it is..haha...anyways, here are some of the pics..:)

(I have requested not to be touched up, so these are straight frm camera...)

THE missing rib...

2008-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Recently, one of my good friends got married...this friend gave me hope at one point in my life..hope in love..believing in myself when no one else does...I am truly happy for him that he has found the special someone to share his life with... :) The wedding was held in Langkawi, it was a beach wedding...lots of planning n organising...but it was all worth it..cos the wedding went well, despite the rain which started right at the end of the photo session...

I remember vividly when he told me he was getting married...it was over dinner...and he casually said.."I would be leaving the bachelor brigade for good.."..I went "oh...ok..".and so we had our order taken...then I turned to him and asked "so..u asked already??" He laughed and said, "of coslah...u think i go around telling everyone I am getting married before asking?" hahah....yups..I was pretty surprised actually..hahaha...and then I asked him, "so, how do u know when to make such a huge decision?"..he said, "when u already know she's THE one..why wait?" ...

So, how does the feeling of knowing the other person IS the person you are going to share your life with, feels like? .....:(

Yet another decision junction...

2008-02-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

About 7 years ago, around the beginning of the year as well, I had to make a BIG decision...I had to decide whether to pursue my studies overseas or to stay in KL and produce an animated feature with 3 friends (yeah..it was a crazy dream!). It was a very tough decision indeed but somehow I went with the latter...Probably because I truly believed in the crazy idea and also I was in love, and love blurs out alot of things for us...sighhh....

Anyway, I am here again at the decision junction...I have to decide if I wanna apply for the visa to go UK for 2 years...I have no regrets with the decision I made 7 years ago, but I do feel that I am missing out on university life in a way...so, this visa would somewhat help me gain the experience of living overseas. BUT I have a career here which I have worked really hard for, the passed few years and by leaving, I may risk losing it all...

It's either now or never...I have decided to leave it to fate after much thought....

Till death do us apart...

2008-02-26T09:20:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, when I was in the clinic, I saw an old couple waiting for their medication. It's just so sweet that the husband is accompanying his wife to see the doc...and both of them were on walking sticks already. How did they achieved it and kept the promise they made, "till death do us apart"?

Marriages seems to become something so fragile these days...I have heard of so many divorces, some one year into their marriage, some even shorter..what happened? It is really difficult, but I still wanna believe that true love exists and you can find the someone you can't live without...

I really hope to find the old man whom I love and have shared my life with, who will accompany me to see the doc when I am 60 years old...

2 Injections in 1 Day!!

2008-02-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

So today 26th Feb is the day when I am supposed to get my second shot for Hep A + B shot...and I went..Since I was already in a clinic, I asked the doc about the lump on my lips..which has been there for more than a month already. He took a look at it and asked if I happened to accidentally bit it or knocked it..and I said no..Then, he said..oh, it's nothing much, I will give you some cream n you apply and see if it goes away. If it doesn't after two weeks, u come back...well, I was a little relief hearing that.

However, after paying it, my worry came back..cos firstly, the cream is only RM5..hmm...I know it's good that it's cheap..but when I asked the nurse if it's consumable, she said no..and I was wondering...it is going onto my lips and chances are I would likely to eat it somehow...hmmm....

So, as I was driving back, I decided to go to consult a specialist. Skin specialist makes good money!! judging by how many people who were waiting for their turn...I was lucky to get a slot in between the back to back appointments..

The doctor took a look at my lips and asked me a few questions...Then, she said, "It's a cyst!" and she went on explaining a little abt how a cyst could happened..and lastly, she said, "I will give u an injection on your lips and hopefully it goes away and doesn't come back. If it does, then we may have to go for a more complicated way to remove it which could mean surgery.." Arghhh....ok...another jab!! well, the jab was not painful, but it costs me another RM150!

Now I am just hoping the cyst can be healed...:( I have recently become more health conscious, trying to eat more fruits n vege and live healthier...and it is because for the passed half a year, I have heard so many stories of sudden deaths at a young age...:( and it's true, "Life is Short"...

I feel blessed..

2008-01-29T04:28:00.000-08:00

Recently I went thru about 200 pics which I sent to print end of last year...I take alot of pictures, so the 200 are kinda like just a fraction of what I have yet to print. I still much prefer to see my pictures in a photo album as compared to clicking the mouse n seeing them on a screen...It's just more romantic that way..:)Anyway, that's not really what I wanna write about.

I feel really blessed looking through the stack of pics. I have met soooo many people last few years, made so many new friends, did so many things that I NEVER thought I would. I finished two feature films and directed my first telemovie, I moved to a new place and started Rooster Rushes. I was working really hard and felt really tired, but I am also really proud of myself for achieving all that. However, the achievements are more inclined towards my career and not my personal life...:( why must it be always either or...Anyhow, I really like my job. It's never the same, every different projects, different challenges and different family at the end of the day....

my dearest friends...I just want all of you to know that YOU are special in a way or another to me. Thank you for making my life so wonderfully filled with memories..painting my every steps with tears and laughter...

A friend forwarded me the writings below some time ago and I felt it's really meaningful..n I would like to share it with u...

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season...

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

A Ray of Sunshine...

2008-01-23T09:39:00.000-08:00

I m confused,
but I m smiling silly,
I m scared,
but I am feeling happy,
why do I feel this way, so suddenly?

Maybe I lie, maybe not,
maybe it's the truth I m afraid of,
cos it could hurt alot,
to know that it is not.

could you be a ray of sunshine?
the one that brings the rainbow amidst the cloudy sky...

Jarum Halus premiere night

2008-01-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

On the 9th of January, we had Jarum Halus premiere night at GSC Pavillion KL. Mum and sis were in KL for the premiere..:) yeah, am really happy that they came. I was pretty nervous that my mum was going to see my apartment...for those of you who knows my mum, you would know why...haha..:p..but it turned out alright.

So, the premiere screening went pretty well, the visuals n sound were so much better than the media screening we had earlier at Midvalley. We believed it’s cos the projector and speakers at Pavillion are brand new..:) After the screening, the guests congratulated us and gave us their comments on the movie which were generally good reviews...:) And after that, we had our little cast and crew party at D'Haven Bangsar...only reached home abt 4am...

I sincerely hope that the night is just a beginning of a great journey...:)

Goodbye 2007 and Hello 2008!

2008-01-03T06:20:00.000-08:00

Well...it's already the 3rd day of 2008...It's amazing how fast time passes...I remember telling a good friend, "I m still not ready for 2008!" and he said to me, "nobody is going to wait for you, whether you are ready or not! " ..:p I guess he is right..

2007 was great! I produced and directed my first telemovie, "Nasi Lemak Dina" for NTV7. Then, produced a digital feature called "Jarum Halus". And another digital feature "A Note Of Love" which I co-produced with Linus was released in September. Well, I am happily tired cos I am very proud of all 3 of them and truly enjoyed the journey!

So, what have I done in 2008 for the last 3 days? Not much, stayed home, did some house cleaning..cos yeah, mummy n sis is coming to visit me! haha..My house is not dirty, just in a mess...does that makes sense? :) That aside, I thought I want a new look for myself this year..NEW YEAR, NEW LOOK lah..so I went to perm my hair today! Not too drastic change actually...but it's one of the most money I have spent on my hair..since I am not the type of girls who visits salons every one or two mths..Walking out of the salon, I kept telling myself, "it's ok, you deserved it.."haha..

Am I looking forward to the year ahead? Yes..I DO..tho I dunno what's going to be in store for me, I do have a few things which I wanna do this year...fingers crossed..hopefully, I will get them accomplished by end of 2008.

And yes, this year will start with "Jarum Halus",a movie which I have worked on almost my entire 2007. It will open on the 10th of January in GSC cinemas. Please check out the website, jarumhalus.com

So, I have a lot of things I wanna do in 2008, but I think I should keep my resolutions achievable and not too far fetched...hehe...Anyways, to all my friends, A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BEST IN 2008! MORE MOVIES!! :)

'I LOVE YOU'

2007-06-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

I went back to Penang last Thursday. Bought a bus ticket from Pudu and made my way home. I made the trip home because of my 3rd aunty.

On Friday, during mum's lunch break, mum droved me to the hospital. I was scared and nervous as I was walking into the ward. Then, I saw my ku-ku, cousins and my 3-chim po standing around the bed. I moved closer and I saw my 3-ee..lying there on the bed. Tears were forming and I was trying really hard to appear normal.

She looked at me..like always but this time, she couldn't even smile. I smiled at her..There I stood right beside her...not knowing how to react. I don't know what to say to her. She is lying there in pink, with tubes coming out of her, looking so tired. With the little energy that she has, she asked me, "mummy ka loo kong ar?" or in English, "Mummy told you?" Then, I said, "yea..but no, my sister ka wa kong eh..."

I felt really helpless..I couldn't say anything to her because I was very worried that I would start crying non stop...For the first time, she is not joking or teasing me, instead she looks so drained out and old...

I was fighting myself not to tear by talking about other stuffs..normal stuffs..but it didn't really help. Suddenly, my vision went really blur and I was feeling weak and unbalanced...I turned to my cousin and hug her and told her that I was fainting..
They sat me down at a chair right away. I didn't know why it happened..mayb it's cos of too many emotions at one time...

Visitors were only allowed till 2pm..Doctors said she can drink coconut juice...so, I went to my 3-ee and told her that I will buy her a coconut when I visit her in the evening. On my evening visit, I brought her some fresh coconut juice..she couldn't drink much..just very little..and before I left, I held her hand and I told her, "take care and be strong"..but what I truly wanted to say was "I love you..and you have to be strong...you will be able to fight this". I didn't do it because I didn't want her to feel sad to see me in tears...

The news of my 3-ee diagnosed with a tumor came so sudden..and then, everything else that follows happened so quickly one after another. So, she went for operation and right after that, I was told that her condition is already at a critical stage. All these news came within a week!!

This unfortunate event made me realised something...a saying that is often circulated in emails, "to let the people you love know that you love them before it's too late"...I now know how important it is..

My 3-ee has just been discharged from the hospital. She could eat and walk now...but we are still waiting for the doctor's report...I can't do much but only hope and pray that her condition is sustainable...

New memories and New family...

2007-05-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

Jarum Halus production, cast and crew...more posts after this...:)

A 'sudden' funny feeling...

2007-03-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,
I woke up with a smile on my face,
Why? I wonder...
It's funny but gentle & nice,
the feeling I felt as I opened my eyes.

How is this possible? I ask.
This funny feeling inside me,
A crush? An infatuation? What is it?
I am not sure, but I'm loving it.

I haven't felt this way for the longest time,
It brings me smiles when I go to bed,
And smiles when I wake,
In denial I am,
cause' I know it's a dream,
A dream I can never get.

To the person I can only dream.

Here comes the Piggy Year..

2007-03-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

Chinese New Year is over…so quickly…This year I nearly couldn’t make it back to Penang for the celebration because I was really busy preparing for my first telemovie. Just when I decided not to make the trip home, dad called. I ‘conveniently’ informed him about my decision. Well, the reply I got was, “Look, you HAVE to go home, even if it’s just for the first 3 days!”. And the next thing I know, I was in my dad’s car on the North South highway heading north.

This year was a little special, we had steamboat for reunion dinner. Well, usually, we kinda have leftover food from lunch time for dinner. Leftover food? Yeah…the schedule for the day before 1st day of CNY is more or less the same every year. Wake up early, like about 7am, mum would drive us (sis & I) to grandma’s house. Once reached, we would usually continue our sleep while mum helps out in the kitchen. By about 11am, there’ll be food laid out on the table. This is for Grandpa. It’s a Chinese culture, I think, to pray to the beloved family members. So, that’s lunch…and the extras are for dinner.

It has been a working new year for me. I was making phone calls, calling up actors and actresses on the 1st day of CNY. Indeed, I was busy..but I managed to meet up with some of my close friends and took some nice family pics. It’s a promise to myself, I made a few years ago that I would take more pics with my family, especially during Chinese New Year.

Although it was the shortest Chinese New Year holiday, I am glad I made the trip home. :)

The last family pic we took together was more than 10 years ago.

To get my ku-ku to pose for a picture is a miracle!!

Simply me...growing up

2007-03-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

I was thinking hard...what should my first entry be...then, it hit me when I was flipping through my photo albums, looking back at my life in pictures...I guess my first entry should be simply me in pictures...

My parents named me Eleanor, without knowing how to pronounce it..:)

My mum says I was a slow learner...but I tried.

When I found out that powder can cover your flaws...:p

When I was into kung fu..

I used to have beautiful birthday cakes...not anymore though..:(

Learning to be a lady. Mum thought I was going to be a tomboy, so she bought me more dresses.

1998, last year in high school.

2006, first self-financed trip. :)...more to come hopefully.

Looking back, I had wonderful years growing up...A big thank you to everyone I've met along the way. In one way or another, you have left a mark in my life...and mould me to who I am today.